Taking Care of Yourself to Take Care of Others

Caring for children, especially those with autism, can be emotionally and physically demanding. As a parent, you spend so much time focusing on their needs that it’s easy to forget about your own. However, self care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to support your child and manage daily challenges.

The 30-to-1 Self-Care Rule

There are many opinions on how much time should be dedicated to self-care. Some say 30 minutes a day, while others recommend five hours a week. A useful guideline followed in professional caregiving environments is the 30-to-1 rule—for every 30 days, you need at least one full day of self care. This breaks down to about 48 minutes per day.

Read More: Understanding the Differences Between Autism and Introversion

If daily self-care isn’t possible, aim for one hour a day when you can. That way, if life gets busy and you miss a day, it won’t have a major impact. Prioritizing self care regularly helps prevent burnout and keeps you feeling refreshed.

Choosing the Right Self-Care Activities

The good news is that self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. The most important thing is to choose activities that bring you joy and relaxation—not added stress.

A great way to start is by reclaiming activities you once loved but gave up due to life’s demands. For example:

  • If you used to love skating, start again.
  • If you enjoyed reading, set aside time for a book.
  • If you love music, listen to or play your favorite songs.

Having a list of self-care options is helpful because certain activities may not always be possible. For example, if the weather prevents outdoor exercise, you’ll have indoor alternatives ready.

Recognizing Burnout and Knowing When to “Tap Out”

Burnout is common among parents and caregivers. When you neglect self-care for too long, exhaustion and frustration take over. This can make it harder to stay patient, present, and emotionally available for your child.

Signs of burnout include:

  • Feeling easily irritated or overwhelmed
  • Losing patience more quickly than usual
  • Struggling to focus or make decisions
  • Experiencing physical exhaustion or headaches

If you notice these signs, it may be time to “tap out” and take a break. A supportive partner, family member, or friend can step in to give you the space you need to recharge.

Read More: Understanding Autism in Women Signs and Diagnosis

How to Build a Self-Care Plan

Creating a self-care plan ensures that you make time for yourself regularly. Here’s how to get started:

  1. Choose your self-care activities – Make a list of things that help you relax and recharge.
  2. Set realistic goals – Start with a small amount of time each day and increase it as needed.
  3. Communicate your needs – Let your family know that self-care is important for your well-being.
  4. Stay flexible – Life with kids is unpredictable. If you miss a day, don’t stress—just get back on track when you can.
  5. Check in with yourself – Notice signs of burnout and adjust your self-care routine if needed.

FAQs About Self-Care for Parents

1. Why is self-care important for parents of autistic children?

Caring for an autistic child can be demanding. Taking time for yourself prevents burnout and helps you stay emotionally available for your child.

2. What if I don’t have time for self-care?

Start small. Even five to ten minutes of relaxation can make a difference. Gradually increase your self care time as you adjust.

3. Can self-care be done at home?

Absolutely! Listening to music, reading, stretching, or practicing deep breathing are simple self care activities that can be done from home.

4. How can I ask for support from my family?

Be direct about your needs. Let them know that self-care helps you be a better parent and partner. Encourage your loved ones to also prioritize their well-being.

Final Thoughts

Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. Taking care of yourself ensures that you have the energy, patience, and emotional strength to support your child. By creating a self-care plan and making it a regular practice, you can prevent burnout and enjoy a healthier, more balanced life.

Learn More About Trapper Shafer’s Work

Trapper Shafer is an autistic adult, father, and founder of UNPUZLD, a clothing brand promoting autism acceptance. 50% of all profits go to autism-related organizations. Learn more about his work here.

Get Professional Support

Dr. Jessica Myszak has over 11 years of experience performing psychological evaluations for children and adults. If you’re interested in learning more or scheduling an evaluation, contact here to get started.